Most people have doubted their happiness at one time or another; whether situations, circumstances or misaligned decisions throw us off of our perceived life plan to happiness; or more subtly where there is just that underlying niggling that although we’ve built the career, family, lifestyle that should be bringing the happiness expected, there is something that’s not sitting right in our internal compass. Like an itch you can’t quite locate in order to scratch it.
In today’s society, we are focused more and more externals as to a means to happiness; what we ‘have’, our financial status, the lifestyle we lead, how our lives & families should be, future goals for our ‘wants’. But all of this negates WHO we are internally and as importantly what ROLES we play throughout life.
The consequence to this is exactly where the ‘itch’ lies.
With such an external focus on happiness, along with the ease at which we can now portray ourselves & compare ourselves to others on outlets such as social media, subconsciously we build on internal frustrations of what we ‘should have’ and urgency as to how we are going to reach our external goals sooner.
We lose total focus of the ‘why’s’ in which we are building our lives and get swept along in what we think we ‘should be’ doing. Underneath all of this we can almost become robot like, trying to ignore that niggle that something just isn’t right.
So here you have it. 5 Questions to ask yourself in the face of true happiness..
1) If everything you ‘have’ was taken away from you tomorrow, what would you be left with? What values and qualities do you want to live by and want to define you as a person? Be honest…really what would you have if you didn’t have the external factors in your life to focus on.
2) What roles do you play in life? And are they who you really are right now? We all play roles with the different people we have relationships with in our lives, whether its what we choose or how we are seen by others. Are you always supporting other people emotionally? Do you jump to buy people things or provide financially? Are you the person who everyone looks at to provide entertainment socially? Are you the main bread -winner? Are you keeping the family together to others expectations? What is your role to your colleagues, family members, friends? Some of these things aren’t always an easy thing to admit to yourself but will give you a good true insight as to who you are portraying not only to others, but to yourself as a person.
3) What do these roles give you internally & are they still serving you? We never initially do things without some internal pay off to ourselves. But also we can outgrow roles as we change as people, or we can play them as a default to filling an internal void within us (loneliness, feeling unable to open up emotionally, inability to be truly open). When we are playing roles to others in their life, a lot of the time we are so programmed to ‘act’ this way & also are expected to continue in this role by others (as it serves them for you to continue to provide what you do), but are you really happy playing these roles? What roles aren’t being fulfilled in YOUR life?
4) What aren’t you admitting to yourself and others? Are you lonely? Unfulfilled? Tired? Lost? If you could tell someone who would not judge or disclose to anyone else what would you tell them?
5) What do you really want? In an IDEAL SCENE how would your life look? Who would be in your life? What roles would they play and what would that fulfil within you? What values would your career serve? What really drives you? This is an amazing question to start really looking into who you really are, what you really want & what you currently have to fulfil these wants. Once you have established this & have a greater understanding of where you are and really where you want to go, you can start to naturally bring alignment, make small bite size decisions and have the motivation to gain what you want in your life.
When you have an insight and knowledge of who you currently are in the world, what you honestly want to say & really get clear about what it is you want you can start to evaluate your decisions from a much clearer place. This is a journey which can be further continued!
Life Coaching is a confidential, professional & safe way of allowing you to really explore & express who you are; with skilled guidance it brings clarity, confidence and realistic goals for every area of your life to bring you to your true happiness.
Life Design Coach has an Online Course for your continued self development at www.lifedesigncoach.com/online-courses